Guide to Being a SSS

Everything you need to know to be a successful second semester senior

By Chandni Patel | Student Life Editor

Seniors Hasan Mohammad and Eric Lin show the rest of us how it's done.
Seniors Hasan Mohammad and Eric Lin show the rest of us how it’s done.

1) Make up for years of lost sleep: Of course, technically, you can’t make up for sleep. That doesn’t have to mean you can’t try though. I suggest you put all your effort into this one.

2) Perfect your “I’m listening” face: We’ve all mastered the art of looking like we’re paying attention after all these years but it’s time to work out the kinks. Make sure your eyes don’t look glossy and you’re not drooling. By the end of the year, aim to have the ideal look to make people believe you’re as attentive as can be. If you are unable to perfect your “I’m listening” face, follow step 3.

3) Every other day is senior ditch day: At this point showing up for classes is basically optional. You’re doing it so your teachers have something to do for the next few months. Of course the responsibility doesn’t have to be all yours; trade off on days with some friends.

4) Turn 18 and call yourself in sick: You’re an adult. If you can vote for the president, you can tell when you’re too “sick” to come to school. You don’t want to start a school-wide epidemic. You’d love to come to school, but you need to do the right thing for everyone else. Totally.

5) Burn all your old homework and school stuff: Get all your friends together and have a bonfire party. Use all the mountains of homework and useless school supplies as kindling. You won’t need those anymore.