Which Gourd are YOU?!

Find out where on the broad spectrum of squashiness you fall

By Arya Sureshbabu | Staff Writer

Have you ever found yourself feeling like you didn’t belong among the cheery pumpkins who dotted the lawns every Halloween? Have you been longing to find your place among the gourds of the world, preferring one more serious or perhaps more lanky? Never fear! Take this quiz, and I guarantee you’ll find your spirit gourd.

1. You get the creeping suspicion that you’re going to be late to class. What do you do?

A. Zip through the hallways, narrowly avoiding collisions with objects, both animate and inanimate.

B. Maintain your typical pace. No inconsequential bell is going to make you change your stride.

C. Formulate an excuse for your tardiness in your devious little mind.

2. How often do you have existential crises?

A. Every. Single. Day. I live in a state of perpetual doubt.

B.Once in a lifetime. It was not pretty.

C. What’s an existential crisis? Are you judging me? Leave me alone.

3. Which of the following is your favorite color?

A. A nondescript and murky brown. Like mud.

B.Scarlet. Like The Scarlet Letter. Only it’s not a letter.

C. Green.  Like the monster of jealousy.

4. Somebody’s following you and he looks quite shady. What do you do?

A. Skitter along quietly.

B. Start singing. Scare him away with your shrill and screeching voice.

C. Fight him. This only goes to show what little people can do.

5. Which of the following is most torturous?

A. Being caught misbehaving. Shudders.

B. Being stuck on a deserted island with not a soul to bear witness to your fabulousness.

C. Being called a pipsqueak.

6. You are put in charge of singlehandedly constructing a city. Which building comes first?

A. A bookstore, obviously.

B. A theater. Need a venue for my awe-inspiring exploits to be shared with the world.

C. A prison. So I can throw you in it.

If you answered…

  • Mostly A’s: You’re an Indonesian bottle gourd. You’re stoic and contemplative and would never associate with a pumpkin.
  • Mostly B’s: You’re a turban squash. You’re flamboyant and charismatic, but also just a tad bit arrogant.
  • Mostly C’s: You’re a green button squash. Although you may appear sweet and innocent, you’re sassy, tough, and occasionally downright scary.
  • Equal numbers of two different letters: You broke Mother Nature! Now you’re an awkward hybrid and will forever be shunned from the Priory of the Squashes.