October’s classroom forecast

By Ayush Patel | Staff Writer

With the summer season coming towards an end, students are gradually modifying their outfits to comply with the cooling weather. Despite wearing long-sleeved clothing to school, many students are still freezing due to poor weather conditions. The school board created a new policy, in which all classrooms must regulate the temperature to be normal. However, several students complained that this policy wasn’t enforced.

Many teachers are incapable of maintaining a pleasant climate in their rooms. AP Biology teacher Mr. Tchan blasts the AC even though he wears five layers of clothing himself.

“Does he want us to die?” asked sophomore Macaroni Lin. “Is it so hard to just turn down the freaking AC?”

Calculus teacher Mr. Pi has no chill either.

“We’re trying to eat our food during lunch,” stated junior Dieris Wen, “but how are we supposed to eat our food when it cools down really fast?”

When asked what goals they were to accomplish by attempting to give students hypothermia, teachers had various reactions.

“My idea was to test who would last the longest, in correspondence to the class’ evolution chapter,” said Mr. Tchan, “If you don’t last long enough, then you die!”

“I honestly don’t care, to be honest” said Mr. Pi, “sucks to suck.”

Irvington High School’s Global Warming Club is strongly against teachers misusing the AC.

“Over 110% of the pollution created by the AC contributes to global warming,” stated President Shankshat Matel. “I strongly suggest to end this nonsense immediately unless the school intends on creating catastrophic effects.”

Irvington High School’s administration suggested several ideas for students in order to deal with the arctic temperatures: bring a snuggie,furnace, and ski wear to school.,

Ms. Gewzwoman, recommends wearing thick-layered furin order to deal with the cold weather.

“Administration will be selling $200 fur jackets every Friday to help students cope with the classroom weather,” stated Ms. Gewzwoman.