Question Man but It’s All Ms. Kamal
December 5, 2019
The following is a transcript of a conversation I had with Ms. Kamal.
Geoffrey Zhang: What is your American Dream?
Ms. Kamal: My American Dream is to give back to my mother for all the sacrifices she made for her family as an immigrant and a single parent.
G: What is the meaning of life?
K: I think the meaning of life is to find your own meaning in life.
G: What’s your deepest desire?
K: To be just like Ariela Koehler.
G: What size tables do you like?
K: I like long tables, so that everyone can have a seat at the table.
G: What do you think is overrated?
G: Could you elaborate on that?
K: No comment.
G: What is your persona, and how many of them do you have?
K: My persona is to have multiple personas. On any given day, I can have 50 to 5000 personas, so no one really knows the real me; not my colleagues, not my friends, not my students.
G: So you would be unable to describe to me your persona right now?
G: How do you deal with bullies?
K: I beat them…with staplers.
G: What’s your favorite handshake?
K: Ok, you go like this, and then you go like this.
G: What’s Obama’s last name?
K: Obama. What kind of incompetent question is this?
G: What’s is your favorite book?
K: I don’t have one favorite book. You can’t ask an English teacher what you favorite book is. That kind of question will make them have a panic attack or anxiety attack. How can we narrow it down? But I can give you my top 5. The entire, complete works of Shakespeare, the complete Harry Potter series, books 1 to 7, everything Toni Morrison has ever written, both fiction and non-fiction, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, and then my own book that I wrote.
G: So that’s like, 50 books.
G: What’s the exceptional country?
G: Do you want to elaborate a bit about your book?
K: No, because it hasn’t been published yet, so I would be talking about something that hasn’t achieved success. You’re either being arrogant or jinxing your success. I only talk with close people for advice about my book.
G: What persona do you use when you describe your book to people?
K: My intellectual, professor persona.