Question Man but It’s All Ms. Kamal

December 5, 2019

 

The following is a transcript of a conversation I had with Ms. Kamal.

 

Geoffrey Zhang: What is your American Dream?

Ms. Kamal: My American Dream is to give back to my mother for all the sacrifices she made for her family as an immigrant and a single parent.

G: What is the meaning of life?

K: I think the meaning of life is to find your own meaning in life.

G: What’s your deepest desire?

K: To be just like Ariela Koehler.

G: What size tables do you like?

K: I like long tables, so that everyone can have a seat at the table.

G: What do you think is overrated?

K: APENG.

G: Could you elaborate on that?

K: No comment.

G: What is your persona, and how many of them do you have?

K: My persona is to have multiple personas. On any given day, I can have 50 to 5000 personas, so no one really knows the real me; not my colleagues, not my friends, not my students.

G: So you would be unable to describe to me your persona right now?

K: Yes.

G: How do you deal with bullies?

K: I beat them…with staplers.

G: What’s your favorite handshake?

K: Ok, you go like this, and then you go like this.

G: What’s Obama’s last name?

K: Obama.  What kind of incompetent question is this?

G: What’s is your favorite book?

K: I don’t have one favorite book. You can’t ask an English teacher what you favorite book is. That kind of question will make them have a panic attack or anxiety attack. How can we narrow it down? But I can give you my top 5. The entire, complete works of Shakespeare, the complete Harry Potter series, books 1 to 7, everything Toni Morrison has ever written, both fiction and non-fiction, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, and then my own book that I wrote.

G: So that’s like, 50 books.

K: Yea!

G: What’s the exceptional country?

K: Afghanistan.

G: Do you want to elaborate a bit about your book?

K: No, because it hasn’t been published yet, so I would be talking about something that hasn’t achieved success. You’re either being arrogant or jinxing your success. I only talk with close people for advice about my book. 

G: What persona do you use when you describe your book to people?
K: My intellectual, professor persona.

 

About the Writer
Photo of Geoffrey Zhang
Geoffrey Zhang, Web/Social Media Manager
Geoffrey Zhang (12) is this year’s web and social media manager. He advocated for a full transition to web, and thanks to COVID, that’s happening. If this website is down, he’s probably editing it. Otherwise, he’s probably at the makerspace, playing his euphonium, or recording a podcast for the Voicebox.

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