Decrypt
Late work? Yeah, I’ll take it. Life happens. School is exhausting, but that doesn’t mean we have to suffer through it together. My class is chill. We have a class pet, a blonde snake, named Syrup. Students allow Syrup to walk outside his cage, and he hasn’t bit anyone…yet. But, hey, if he does, that would be a great lesson about responsibility. Phones? As long as you’re not FaceTiming your long distance boyfriend in the middle of my “lecture” (which is really just me going on a tangent about my life), I don’t care. Honestly, if you’re texting, at least it means you’re awake. And if you’re scrolling through TikTok, maybe you’ll learn something educational. Just don’t let me catch you filming one of those “Day in the Life of a Student at the Worst High School in America” videos unless you tag me. I don’t believe in pop quizzes—no one’s gonna need to know how to prove a triangle is a triangle in fifteen years. If you’re struggling, Google the answers during tests, I prefer to call it “independent research.” I’m too lazy to sign Summer School forms anyways. At the end of the day, my students learn what they want. My job is to teach and their job is to pretend to care. So just relax, do your best, and if you’re lost, just make me laugh—I might give you extra credit for creativity. Education isn’t just about what’s on a test—it’s about survival skills. And I can teach you how to get through life with minimal effort and maximum results, then I’ve done my job.