Dear Nafu

Fiona Zhao, Staff Writer

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Dearest Nafu,

People are so confusing these days. They point at each other, calling out to do something called a “dab”. What is a “dab”? And, like, how am I supposed to know what the heck all these weird people are doing? Please. Help.

Dabbing Away My Tears

Dear Dabbing Away My Tears,

Upon further observation, it has come to my attention that what you describe must involve sneezing into your elbow, does it not? In order to understand those people, you must carefully observe them and their actions, drawing logical conclusions from your observations. It’s best to observe from afar so that you’re not a variable of the social experiments you must conduct. During Lunch and passing period, I often camp behind the bushes of Irvington and take notes of the students’ actions. Binoculars are an essential tool that magnifies potentially important details that you might otherwise miss.

Nafu

Dear Nafu,

Two seconds ago, I made the monumental decision to join Homecoming court! I have never been to a Homecoming game or a Homecoming dance, but I still want to go on the court! It sounds so fun! I might a bit anti-social, though, but you must know the ways to become part of the court. Thanks!

H

Dear H,

Homecoming reveal was last month, so it might be hard to join court, but there are plenty of ways to go about it. For one, start practicing both your balling skills and your courtship skills–just in case there is further competition. If people this year prefer athletes, great balling skills can help you in all sorts of areas such as the basketball court. You can even swear an oath on the tennis court! If you’re not so athletic, though, people also like being courted–it’s a sure-fire way to get voted onto Homecoming court.

Dear Nafu,

I thought I felt stressed. Everyone’s stressed, right? Everyone is stressed out about school and extracurriculars, and so I followed their ways. So I followed what all those signs and posters in the hallways said. To “cope,” I read that I should listen to music, watch movies, and find a hobby, but I ended up having no time to do my work! On a related note, my chest often feels tight and I need to cope after failing to cope. What do I do?

Stressed Out

Dear Stressed Out,

You really should listen to music, watch movies, and find hobbies to cope with stress! The result of several milliseconds of scientific inquiry, including plenty of trial and error, the posters are indeed very accurate. But you don’t just do what’s simply listed on the poster – you should go above and beyond if you really want to get an “A” in coping with stress. Multi-task– while doing your actual work, try and see if you can do your hobby! Sports, especially, will relieve your chest pain you described. Watching movies at the same time is also a great way to enrich yourself of all the knowledge. But remember, don’t procrastinate!

Dear Nafu,

I can’t even right now because I am so, so obsessed with a TV drama. Like, I literally cannot deal with in this world or anyone else except for my OTP. It’s even worse because it’s so stupid, yet so addicting.

Addicted (Drama)

Dear Addicted (Drama),

How is your life gone? What defined your life prior to these . . . dramas? Life itself is but a series a dramas (SOURCE: Nafu), so I think you’re fine. If you’re truly worried, find a better drama that doesn’t tear your life apart.

Nafu