Breaking Scandal: Two ducks found dating, what happens next will shock you

One Sad Monkey

Annika Yong, Staff Writer

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Two lone ducks were found drifting next to each other in Lake Elizabeth in a Sunday afternoon. The two were allegedly dating, but have exerted numerous efforts to duck from reporters and stay away from the spotlight of attention. It’s hard to tell whether they’re dating or simply intimate friends since their wings kept touching each other by accident, but rumors say it’s positive that they’re more than just friends.

The female duck was very seducktive while the male duck attempted to behave gentleducklike. When an old man came by the lake to serve them some Duckin’ Donuts, the male duck told the man to put it on his bill, and even ordered a beer for two later in the date. The old man quacked open the Kronenbourg Lac Eau for the two lovers, and the male duck tipped the old waiter two quacks for his service.

After lunch, the two ducks went for a romantic swim along the river, and talked about their respective professions – the male duck being a Demoquack representative in Congress and the female duck a web developer. The male duck quacked some jokes and the female duck seemed to like his quacky sense of humor. The date was not at all hawkward and they had great chemistry, and proceeded smoothly until they noticed the gossip column reporters and dove into the lake.

Demoquack Bill Keelton and Repelican Donald Duck disapproved of their relationship, deeming it “inappropriate” and “scandalous”.

“Quack quack quack quack quaaaaaaack,” said Replican Donald Duck. “Quack Quack Quuuuuuuuuack.”