The Big Conspiracy

By Brandon McAlister

In what has become the 500th schedule change on the ASB calendar, the annual Irvington Dodgeball Tournament has been pushed into the second semester. Many dodgeball fans around campus are left to question the motives behind ASB’s sudden and questionable actions. Although officially known as the ‘Associated Student Body’, several students have begun to refer to the organization as ‘Always Scheduled Badly.’  The dodgeballers are tired of being dodged by ASB.

Originally the tournament was set to be scheduled on November 9th, but due to the already scheduled NCS games the intense activity was moved to the 10th. Mysteriously the NCS games were moved back to the 10th again, canceling the dodgeball event. Are the ASB and NCS conspiring to rid Irvington of its beloved Dodgeball Tournament. If not, then why has the activity been moved to some unknown date deep in the second semester?

Let’s look at it this way, ASB has three letters and so does NCS. Pretty peculiar huh? NCS and ASB have devised the most brilliant plan ever. If the dodgeball tournament gets postponed, there will be a higher number of people able to attend the NCS games causing more people to spend money on tickets to watch the game. Then when Dodgeball rolls around, all of the people who were busy with NCS will have the time to PAY and watch the dodgeball tournament. Good try ASB, but not this time.