The Newspaper of Irvington High School

The Irvington Voice

The Newspaper of Irvington High School

The Irvington Voice

The Newspaper of Irvington High School

The Irvington Voice

Not Martians but Meowtians

By Cathy Wang | Opinions Editor

Cats are not standard pets; they came from outer space to take over Earth in 5000 BC. However, when the cats realized that many of the organisms here were physically bigger than they were, they adapted to look cute and get adopted by humans instead. There are several pieces of evidence that show cats’ supernatural nature.

First of all, there has been no documentation of cats before the ancient Egyptian civilization, which is around the time they arrived to Earth. Since their sudden appearance, they have been worshipped as gifts from gods.

Cats’ abilities dumbfound humans. Their eyes, perfect as spy cameras, are far superior to humans, especially at night when they explore the territories by themselves and report live feed of human activities in order to scheme the human downfall and cat domination. There are no scientific explanations regarding how cats’ purrs are produced and what their exact functions are; therefore, they must be used to communicate with fellow cat aliens from outer space. Cats can also survive after inhuman circumstances, most notably landing on their feet after dropping from huge h

eights, showing how unnaturally skilled they are.

Cats’ mysterious pasts and abilities prove that they are indeed aliens infiltrating Earth.

Cats are believed by many conspiracy theorists to be plotting to take over the world (Cathy Wang).
Cats are believed by many conspiracy theorists to be plotting to take over the world (Cathy Wang).
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