Dear NaFu,
I’m thinking of self studying AP Italian, AP Latin, AP Japanese, AP Spanish, and AP French. How do I handle all these languages at once, and how many of the AP tests should I register for?

Sincerely,
We get it you’re a polyglot

Hi “We get it you’re a polyglot,”

Yes. Cultivate that aura of culture. Register for all of them. In fact, why aren’t you taking any African languages? Just because College Board doesn’t offer it doesn’t mean that Harvard won’t count it against you. And don’t forget AP English. You need to know English as well. When you study these different languages, try to integrate them into your daily life. Speak them. All of them. All the time. Even if no one understands you. It’s okay. I understand you.
Sincerely,
NaFu

Dear NaFu,
I need someone to write me a recommendation letter, but I’m too nervous to ask one of my teachers. What if they don’t like me? What if they write a bad recommendation? I don’t even know who to ask—I’m not really good at any of these subjects.
Sincerely,
Straight Cees

Dear Straight Cees,

I didn’t need a recommendation letter to get into college. I appealed for admission, because they rejected me on the basis of not having one. So when I came into the interview, well I did my best to please. I seduced the head of the office of admissions. She was amazed, and we eloped in Paris. And of course, I got into the college of my dreams.
But if you don’t have this sexual prowess, I guess you need a recommendation letter. Okay, approaching a teacher is very simple. First you have to check out their teacher page on the Irvington site. Look at their profile. Does their photo speak to you? Are their eyes warm and caring and inviting? If they are everything you’re looking for, you have to decide to take the first step—that’s how all relationships start. But the method of contact is the most important. How are you going to go about it? LoopMail? FUSD email? Maybe even the more risky approach—office hours? Rejection chances are high, but you’ll never know until you try. Woo them with chocolate and flowers, and it doesn’t matter what you got in that class. They’ll write a glowing recommendation for you for sure.
Sincerely,
NaFu

Dear NaFu,
College acceptances have been coming in, but I haven’t received any yet because I regular decision-ed for everything. I feel envious of my friends, who are all getting into good colleges. What do I do to make the wait seem shorter, and to be a better friend?
Sincerely,
Stanford Bound

Dear Stanford Bound,
What are you worrying about? You have the best college in the SAME CITY AS YOU! Harvard on the Hills, UCSF (South Fremont), the big O…. Ohlone College has accepted you already and you haven’t even applied yet. Stop stressing about not getting into any colleges. You’ve gotten into the college that matters.
Sincerely,
NaFu