A collection of complaints from IHS student and driver Amoosh Metal over the month of April.

Jaywalkers

People don’t seem to understand how crosswalks work. You can ONLY cross when the crosswalk sign shows — here’s the surprising part — A PERSON WALKING. You can’t cross the street when the red hand shows the universal sign for STOP YOURSELF. Apparently all of the streets are jaywalkers’ right of way and, if they do use crosswalks, they don’t follow the darn crossing signals. I know you have places to go, but so do I! You’re rushing out the car because you don’t want to be late, but I don’t want to be late either or run you over and get charged for manslaughter. I wait for you to cross, so wait for me to drive through. As much as I want to run you over, I won’t because I’m a nice driver so FOLLOW THE CROSSING SIGNALS.

The bump

There is an infamous bump by the marquee sign as you exit the big parking lot. The bane of all drivers. It ruins the underside of the front bumper. You’re in a rush to leave the parking lot before everyone else, you’re almost off the school campus, and then THUD. $200 in damages to your car that you will never fix because you’re poor and no one ever looks under there anyway.

Honking

Honking literally doesn’t solve anything. So stop. It’s not going to make the light turn green any faster or make the car ahead of you stop breaking basic traffic laws. If I wanted to hear some horns, I would go to the band room.

Ungodly hours

For my own safety, I have to wake up at a way too early time, which is inherently bad for my health. One less hour of sleep and a grumpier me is great for everyone. I have to drive to school early if I don’t want to deal with aggressive parents cutting me off as they try to merge past the point of no return and other equally sleep-deprived student drivers who can barely drive in a straight line. Not to mention parking. I don’t plan on using my insurance ever, so I am parking in the middle of nowhere. I should just start bringing a blanket with me to school so I can sleep in the backseat until the first bell rings.