Administration, teachers, and staff were distraught at the scene of a major scandal uncovered early Monday morning at Irvington High School. Chaos ensued as reports of missing Change poster boards, WIP source checks, and Quest finding papers filed in, leaving all wondering who was responsible for such an ambitious and ground-breathing crime. The suspected culprit: the Grinch. 

Now, I know what you all are thinking- the Grinch? But might I remind you that this isn’t some fairytale about stealing Christmas, but rather a major campus controversy that shook the core of Irvington curricula: benchmark projects.

Benchmarks, the crux of IHS’ rigorous academic process, that turn students into branded veterans who have earned their stripes upon completion of Change, WIP, and Quest. If there’s one thing that unites all Irvington students, it’s their absolute, diehard love for benchmarks. 

Now the Grinch, knowing this, was quite stealthy, tiptoeing past campus security and the authorities to orchestrate the most-talked about crime in Irvington history. In the middle of the night, when not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, the Grinch subtly removed all the Change project boards that littered the campus. No more would scared freshman passionately discuss about the benefits of 10 whole hours of community service. No more would excited sophomores passionately discuss about socratics, and never again would seniors be able to get out of their comfort zone of their senioritis bubbles and give a Quest presentation. 

“I received a call in the middle of the night from someone who called themselves the Grinch—yenno, like from the storybook tale—who threatened me and told me to never become a consultant for Irvington High School seniors ever again for their Quest projects,” reported Fleece Navidad, consultant at Santa’s Helpers, a non-profit based in Fremont. Santa’s Helpers is but one of many local nonprofits that received a threatening message from the Grinch. Impressingly, the Grinch was able to single-handedly unwind the fabric of the Quest project, our seniors pride and joy!

Quite the plot twist, as the Grinch, always portrayed as the bad guy that stole christmas, surprisingly gave everyone a present this Christmas season by taking away those pesky benchmark projects. Ridding the world of evil one project at a time, it is clear the Grinch may not be the hero we want, but he is the hero the Irvington campus needs!