Are you one of the two people thinking of being published in our schoolwide newspaper? Great news, because we’ve put together a (in)complete guide on how to write a Voice Humor article.

Firstly, let’s look at our writing process. 

There are four steps to writing any article for the Voice: the pitch, the writing, the editing, and the photo. Here at the Voice, we are all responsible for coming up with at least one idea for every section of the newspaper. Doesn’t matter how bad it is. Then articles are assigned, and the fun part begins. 

Step 1. So how do you come up with a good pitch? You’re going to need to put your creative juices to use (or copy a Buzzfeed article; they’re really not too different). Usually anything “school” related will suffice. This part is really up to you, so take advantage of the complete creative freedom.

Step 1.5. Procrastinate. 

Step 2. It’s at this point I should mention that, contrary to popular belief, Humor articles aren’t directed towards the majority of Irvington High School–our target audience is actually ourselves. The writing style is very casual, as you can probably tell, which can lead to some interesting articles like our “Fire Alarms, Destined to Kill Us.” Depending on the article, it can take up to 1-2 hours to draft and write and edit. Alright, now how are you supposed to be funny? Personally I think that using dry humor or sarcasm is easier to convey humor because if it’s not funny and nobody laughs, it’s almost like you hate the joke too. So instead of using xd, funni, unlucky, poggies, tHiS fONt, or whatever the kids are doing these days, I tend to just sound deadpan so it seems like I’m not trying to make it funny because I have very limited humor skills. 

Step 3. Editing

Editors edit your article (wow no way). After you finish writing, you send them a copy and they get to edit your failed attempts at humor so you won’t get absolutely clowned by your friends when they read it. Also remember that at the end of the day, only a total of 10 people (including your mom) are going to read what you wrote before people inevitably turn their copies of our paper into origami hats, so it’s not like you need to be the next John Mulaney. Accept that it’s probably going to be cringey in some shape or form. If you learned a thing or two about how to write a Voice Humor article, by all means have a go at https://ihsvoice.com/category/public-forum/.

If you follow all these steps, congratulations! You are now a published author of the Irvington High School newspaper that reaches 2400 students every month (have that a go on your college apps).

Disclaimer: This is a satire piece. Facts may be exaggerated for comedical sake (You write this at the bottom if you think someone will get offended and send you angry tweets. This applies for this article too *love you Voice*).