22 Words We Should Ban Going into 2022



The censorship cat welcomes you into 2022. M*row!

With the start of a new year, albeit one that we’re almost a month into, it’s time for a good linguistic cleansing of our souls. After all the chaos that occurred in 2021, some things are better left forgotten, or at least censored from future AP history tests. Here are 22 words I think we should ban going into 2022. 

1. 2021:  #2021isoverparty Now that last year is over, we have to solidify that it’s over over. And also so we don’t miswrite the date on MLA headings and get 5 points off QUEST, WIP, or Change papers. Imagine being a junior. 

2. 2020: that’s over too, and I’m never going back.  

3. Dirty words: the word “dirty” implies filth, and these words contaminate our everyday conversations. If we’re so open-minded to ordinary, verbal pollution, it’s no wonder Earth suffers from water, air, and soil contamination. 

4. Euphemisms: we need to stop hiding behind polite expressions and just be as blunt and harsh as 2021 has been to us. Us normal people ought to bear the burden of honesty, unlike certain politicians, countries, and health agencies.

5. Truth: with all the fake news floating around, nothing is truly objective anymore. Breaking news: Everything is an opinion, even science!!! Do vaccines contain planted microchips designed to turn us into mindless hardworking zombies, or do they contain weakened virus material that triggers an immune response? Depends on your view of AP Bio. 

6. Normal: everyone keeps calling it the “new normal” as if life were normal in the first place. As if in the past, viruses didn’t exist, or wealth inequality, or lack of access to medical care in developing countries. It’s not like we turned a blind eye to all the deaths happening each day when they didn’t affect us! Now that they’re interfering with our social lives and breathing ability and First Amendment rights, “normal” is suddenly “new.”

6a.“Get used to the new normal”: As Billie Eilish sings, “six words [I] never understood.” This is like telling someone diagnosed with depression, “hey, get used to depression!”

7. Omnicron: common misspelling of Omicron (obviously linguistic discrepancies are what we should nitpick rather than pressing world issues). Thank you Google for correcting me. Just what I needed when I was trying to search for the CDC’s exposure and quarantine guidelines after winter break. 

8. 9: self-explanatory. 7 ate 9, and it’s long past time we accepted that.

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10. Time: what causes aging, chronic stress, and death? You have your answer. Get rid of it.

11. Numbers 12-21: so we can pretend we never had to move past 2012

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22. Censorship