High School Books Badly Summarized


Romeo and Juliet

“The key is not to make quick decisions but to make timely decisions.” – Colin Powell. This is apparent in Romeo and Juliet when, as we know, Romeo kills himself before actually waiting for Juliet to wake up from her slumber. This story starts with a rivalry between two houses, and, as everyone knows, Romeo ends up falling in love with Juliet at a masquerade ball. Romeo’s bestie clowns on Romeo for being in love with another girl at first, but when Romeo meets Juliet, he shuts up. Romeo and Juliet secretly meet after that—Romeo attempts to woo Juliet with bad sappy sayings and she eventually falls (dead) for him, and he, the same for her.

Animal Farm 

Who would win: humans with guns or some animals living in a barn? Animal Farm is quite literally about an animal farm, which in this case, becomes dictated by pigs. The humans are driven out to allow the animals the freedom of pitching in to try their hand at architecture (and fail miserably at that). Then, all the animals agree to anarchy, except that it doesn’t really get established because there’s a coup d’etat and a new form of government is put into place. This new government’s main rule is that sharing is caring until it’s not, and that classist pigs (literal) are at the top of the hierarchy. The rest of the story goes like this: oink, oink, oink, oink. 

Great Gatsby

Money, money, money, more money, maybe a car crash or two somewhere, but don’t let that distract you from the overall plot of the story! The start of Great Gatsby starts with this man whose name is Nick, and he arrives in East Egg, where everything begins. He meets Gatsby, an absolute chad and the new guy in town who is made up of new money. Turns out, Gatsby’s in love with Nick’s cousin and he would do a lot to be with her, and thus begins an onslaught of cheating ordeals. Throughout the chicken fights and many accusing fingers, there is approximately one (1) sane character in this book, but they aren’t even there for half of it. The rest of the cast was tipsy on an influx of yellow cocktail music and green lights enough to blind someone. In the end, simping ends up killing the American Dream and a slay a day keeps the men away. 


A fever dream, really. Everything is perfectly in place and in chronological order and totally not out of place and in non-chronological order. Reading it would make you feel like how the main character doesn’t when attempting to maintain their insanity. Catch-22 is also about catching 22 pieces of evidence for moral conflict and defining the nature of humans and society. Ask your seniors if they have been traumatized enough to explain the plot in chronological order. Peace out.