It was a normal Wednesday at Irvington High School. It was time for lunch, and the Irvington population was ready to eat and study for their upcoming tests. Little did they know, for the first time in Irvington history, a dance battle would break out in the courtyard. Witnesses would later describe it as “life-changing,” “mind-altering,” and a “once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
It all started when freshman Chucky Wu zoomed into the courtyard on his scooter from the senior hallway, blasting the song Just Wanna Rock on his boombox. He then challenged senior Brad Wilforshire to a dance battle for the hand of Rayee, his girlfriend. Chucky had bumped into Rayee in the hallway a few hours prior and said it was “love at first sight.” Upon questioning, Rayee said that she had “never seen this freshman before” in her life.
The battle thus commenced in the courtyard. Wu got the crowd excited with a few intricate grapevine steps, then leveled up to some kick-ball-changes and double backflips. In response, Brad hit the “griddy” and performed the infamous jubi slide, making the crowd go wild. It was obvious that Brad had won.
Their epic showdown inspired dozens of other students to join in as well. There were countless other battles taking place, with a variety of dance styles clashing with each other. This ranged from the basic hip-hop styles to the unique “Fortnite” style commonly danced by the freshmen. Waacking was battling ballet, and house was battling depressing contemporary. The battle sent a shockwave through the world, and various dance icons spawned to join in. Michael Jackson rose from the dead, and the backpack kid came out of his flop era to show off his new and improved floss which had been marinating for more than 6 years. Wu voiced that this experience was “the most exhilarating moment” of his life.
The campus supervisors tried their hardest to break up the crowd, but after getting berated by Abby Lee Miller, they had no choice but to let them be. Sophomore Litty Groove said: “I was supposed to be preparing for a math test next period, but this dance battle taught me more than my 2 years in high school!” Many expressed the same sentiment, showing how impactful this event was and how it revolutionized their understanding of conflict resolution in literature.
The spell broke with the end of lunch, but the magic of dance was still in the air. Students were seen twirling and frolicking to their fifth-period classes. There is no doubt that this event has cemented its place in Irvington’s history, and will be remembered for centuries.
