On January 8, 2024, a date that will go down in history, Irvington students managed to bring about world peace.

Around 8:10 as of that morning, residents of Irvington residing near Blacow Road and Grimmer Boulevard reported seeing hordes of undead teenagers wearing pajama pants around the Irvington High School Campus.

The first 911 calls began to pour in from all over the Irvington area starting at 8:20 A.M. “I was scared for my life,” says local resident Mariah Carey. “Those teens definitely looked like real zombies and that’s what I told the police as well.”

At 8:25, the police began noting incidents of textbooks getting ripped apart and consumed by the masses and bystanders getting pelted with school cafeteria meals which proved beyond a doubt that the zombie situation was an imminent danger to public safety. 

The Fremont Police Department soon took part in a joint effort to control the situation alongside the Milpitas and Newark Police Departments. A total of 200 police vehicles were reported to have been stationed in and around Irvington High School at 8:30. The SWAT teams from all three Police Departments were also deployed as backup.

However, after 15 minutes of clashing with pajama-wearing zombies, the police departments were left defeated and had to call for the help of the federal government. 

At approximately 8:45, President Biden declared a state of emergency and authorized the deployment of the National Guard to contain the situation. When this also proved insufficient, Biden ordered all active military personnel to arrive in Irvington to keep the Zombies under control. This meant every American soldier had to vacate every foreign military base in the world to leave for California.

In the next few hours, the full might of the American military had managed to pacify the situation by arresting every zombie teen. The arrested teens were taken to Guantanamo Bay Naval Base for Interrogation.  Doctors and Psychiatrists from around the world had been flown in to make sense of the situation. The experts soon realized that the teens were not zombies, but just extremely tired high schoolers returning from winter break.

This revelation prompted an outcry from human rights groups and world leaders alike as they began to condemn the US’s use of military force against teenage civilians.

The World Health Organization also released a statement stating, “The United States government’s action is abhorrent in terms of the health and safety of children and young adults.” Moreover, they released numerous recommendations for the mental health of teens that led to the creation and passing of a UN mandate that called for a month-long winter break in all schools along with a permanent three-day weekend system worldwide.

With the entire world seemingly disappointed with the US, the federal government decided to make the vacation of all foreign military bases permanent. This then lowered international tensions and everyone lived happily ever after.