The sky’s the limit, but let’s face it: planes suck. This statement may seem paradoxical, but it perfectly represents everyone’s relationship with air travel. We love to complain about planes, but when it comes down to it, we’d rather be 40,000 feet in the air than stuck in traffic on the ground.
Air travel has become an important part of our lives, where many students from school use planes to go on field trips, connecting us to far-off destinations and allowing us to explore the world like never before. The airline industry has grown exponentially over the years, with millions of passengers taken to the sky every day. It has been statistically shown that more than 5 billion passengers traveled by air in 2022, which has continued to rise steadily.
While air travel offers convenience and speed, it comes with its fair share of being very…well for lack of a better word, annoying. It’s a world where soaring adventures meet the harsh reality of cramped seats, crying babies, and BAD turbulence.
To better understand the suckiness of planes, let’s hear something from frequent flyers who can share their terrible experience on planes: Prince Harrison III, a frequent flyer who loves luxurious travel experiences, has a particular perspective on those who choose to fly economy. He firmly believes that anyone willing to squish themselves to the cramped seats of economy seating is simply stupid.
“Economy flyers? They’re basically peasants of the skies.”
On the other hand is the charismatic Cathy Cosgrove, an air travel-enthusiast who often finds herself lost in the heart of airport terminals. However, she requires assistance at every step, from check-in to boarding, highlighting the challenges that can arise when navigating the complex world of air travel. Especially for a first time traveler.
“Omg, sometimes I get so lost that I order myself a wheelchair so I won’t get lost at the airport”. Cathy later confessed to us.
Then, there’s Danny Delight, that one overdressed seatmate who never stops talking, oblivious to the fact that most passengers value a peaceful journey. His non-stop chatter can make a long flight feel even longer, pushing the limits of passengers’ tolerance. I regret interviewing Danny but here’s what he said:
“Oh ok, should I talk now? What’s up Irvington? I love talking. Like people need to understand why I’m important. And omg, have you watched Love at First Sight and you know how they fell in love at an airport, that’s how I’m trying to be. I’m the only one who wears designer clothes to an airport just so women are attracted to me because airport girls are just better and you know how…” .
Moving on, Baby Benson, a tiny but evil air traveler, represents another source of frustration. His wailing and crying can test even the most patient passengers’ resolve, making it challenging to find peace and quiet during a flight.
“Gaa, goo, mum, WAAAAH”
After hearing that cry, it was my que to go back to my seat and use my EarPlanes, which blocks out all sound (not sponsored btw!).
On the other side of the story, we’ve also taken the opportunity to interview Captain Connor, a pilot with a unique backstory, confesses that his inspiration to become a pilot actually came from playing Grand Theft Auto. While his intentions may be in the right place, passengers might find themselves experiencing turbulence more often than they’d like when Captain Connor is at the helm. Captain Connor states “I fly my planes like a G6. Get them bottles poppin’, we get that drip and that drop. Now, now, give me two more bottles ’cause you know it don’t stop.” To all the people who are flying KooKoo Flight 10679, good luck.
As experienced plane passengers, we’re way too familiar with the chaos of departure days. The long lines at check-in counters, security checkpoints, and the overpriced airport food leave us on the brink of fristation. It’s a test of patience, before we even set foot on the plane.
And when you do get on the plane the in-flight entertainment is a whole other chapter in the long book of air travel grievances. The selection of movies and TV shows rarely matches an individual’s preferences, leading to hours of boredom..
Turbulence, that unwelcome rollercoaster of the skies, can make even seasoned travelers uneasy. Combined with the overly enthusiastic flight attendants who insist on delivering their soda with exaggerated cheerfulness, it’s a recipe for mixed emotions at the best.
For some passengers, the most significant woe is the presence of their fellow travelers. With seats getting smaller and legroom at premium, the discomfort of being too tall or too wide for your seat can turn a journey into a never-ending struggle for comfort.
