We are currently amidst a mental health crisis worse than ever before: According to Project Hope, a humanitarian NGO working for global health, one of every four people experience mental illness at sometime in their lives. Yet despite these staggering numbers, approximately 70% of those affected do not receive the necessary treatment. This lack of receiving the proper care for mental health is especially prevalent with men, with nearly 80% of all suicides in America being by men, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Priory Group, a hospital company specializing in mental health in the UK, reports polls that show that 77% of all men suffer from negative mental health. The mental health crisis itself stems from various factors like the loss of free time to simply think, to the distractions of technology, the disproportionate effect on men it has, falls mainly towards societal expectations and stigma surrounding men talking about their mental health.
One key issue that leads to men facing these mental health issues at such a large scale without treatment is society’s invalidation of men’s problems. Whether or not men actually hold a position of privilege in society, it remains true that in many societies, like America’s, men are seen to be in a position of power in society. This perception then carries the implicit (and often explicit) expectation that men’s problems are not valid, due to the status they hold in the society. This expectation leads men to feel as though their problems are not worthy of societal attention, or even the attention of anyone else.
Popular media such as movies, TV shows, and social media influencers also heavily contribute to this crisis of men’s mental health being unrecognized. Society does not provide men with many good role models, often with many role models the media provides setting toxic expectations. Often a popular characterization of the “ideal” man is one that is “stoic” and represses all the negative emotions that he feels, becoming numb to any emotional pain they feel and not seeking any help. “Stoic” in quotation marks, because the very idea of stoicism has been misrepresented by society in a way that creates more problems for men. Andrew Tate, controversial online personality who has cultivated an audience of primarily men who are lost and broken in life to take advantage of them (through an online pyramid scheme), preaches this corrupted version of stoicism to his followers. His followers are often already not in a great place, and by encouraging them to bottle up their emotions and not experience them (as opposed to real stoicism which encourages experiencing your emotions, but not letting them negatively affect you), his followers often end up worse off than before. This repression of emotions causes incredible harm to long-term mental health, and stops men from receiving the professional help they really need.
The rise of these influences also has the inadvertent effect of changing societal expectations of what men are supposed to be like, but these expectations have also existed long before influencers have. Emotional restraint is one example of these social expectations, with other expectations including themes like independence. Men are often viewed in society as having to be able to do everything by themselves, and not need any help from others. They have to be mentally tough and handle any situation without any external help. This, and many other societal expectations of men lead to men not being able to fully express their emotions, bottling them up, eventually blowing.
These expectations and invalidations are what lead to men silently bearing the burden of their mental health issues. Men feel as though speaking up would lead to society crushing them with the weight of their own inadequacy. For men, vulnerability is often a forbidden language, and any emotional expression is looked down upon by society as unmasculine and unbecoming of those men. Men feel as though their problems are unworthy of other’s attention (sometimes their own attention), and to truly “be a man” they have to face these problems alone, no matter how difficult the problems are. This is the fundamental issue behind the lack of awareness behind men’s mental health.
Yet on top of all of this lies another issue, the lack of belongingness that men often feel in society. Men’s attempts to connect with others are often blocked or systematically rejected by others, furthering the crippling feeling of isolation men already feel. Not only does this lack of connection and epidemic of loneliness in men further the mental health issues they face and block channels of emotional expression for men, it signals something deeper: a disconnect between men and society. And this disconnect, stemming from societal pressures that condition men to seek validation primarily from external sources rather than themselves, is what often leads to men committing suicide. Simply put, it’s when men try to connect with others, and get rejected. Traditionally, those who committed suicides were often seen as victims of mental illness. But as a UCLA study shows, 60% of male suicides have no link to the mental illness. Instead, the study suggests that often men commit suicide because they come to the realization that their life is just not worth living anymore. It comes from the fact that men lack a stable sense of self worth, but also validation from the rest of society, and how men are almost barred from human connection.
These problems may appear easily solvable, yet are deceptively difficult issues to truly tackle. The entire understanding of masculinity needs to undergo a change for men, at least on a large scale, to come out and discuss their mental health. But steps along the way can be made to greatly improve the current situation. Those with a platform(influencers, celebrities, teachers, politicians and leaders alike) can spread awareness about the plights men face, and how men’s issues do matter. It seems trivial to many, but there are many men who truly feel like their problems don’t matter, and by validating them, it makes them more likely to come out and share what they are. Another important thing men lack are positive role models. Whether this be in media or real life, men need something or someone to look up to, to understand the healthy balance between traditional masculine traits, understanding yourself emotionally, and being able to rely on others for support during times of need. In general, men need to feel accepted by society, feel as though their problems matter, but more importantly, feel like they matter. Only then, can this silent crisis of men be truly solved.
