Lockers are a versatile weapon to help you survive the school year. They’re very practical and necessary with all your textbooks, binders, big posters, and lunch bag. When trying to maximize that High School aesthetic, lockers can be a valuable asset. 

Here are the best ways to utilize your all-important Irvington Locker: 

1. Get Locker Buddies: Asking a stranger to move to get to your locker and having them ignore you is not cute. Getting a locker near your friends is the only way to make standing around and talking in the middle of a busy hallway slightly less awkward. As a bonus, it also means that the next time you need to spill the tea, it won’t be overheard.
2. Look out for Accessibility: What if you need to stalk your crush? Is your friend a slow walker? Is your next class in the back portables? If you want to roam the hallways nonchalantly,  pick a locker close to your classes. It’ll save you from a few panic attacks. 
3. Scout the Area: Imagine that you bump into a hot guy, drop your books, and he helps you pick them up. Is that highly unrealistic? Yeah, but what’s the point of school if we’re not romanticizing everything? “Having a good locker area is so important. How else do I make sure my crush makes eye contact with me every day?” Delilah Lulu (12). Picking a good area will set you up for that picture-perfect moment. 

Here is how not to pick a locker: 

1. Don’t Pick a Locker with a Bunch of Tacky Decor: Patterned, peeling wallpapers and BTS stickers won’t make you fun or quirky. Mornings are already hard enough, let’s not burn our retinas with oversaturated colors. Either pick a locker without any decorations or peel it all off before anyone else has the chance to see it and shame you.
2. Don’t Get a Bottom Locker: Crouching on the ground in front of 12 seniors in the middle of passing period is not very demure. If you’re taller than 4’11, get the locker that’s meant for you. “I’m so petite that my arms don’t even reach the lock of the top lockers,” said Cho Seme (11) “I can’t imagine having a top locker, I would have to get on my tippy toes to reach it. I’ll get blown away by the wind, that’s like a health hazard.” As a side note, bottom lockers are a good workout. It may be suitable for people with poor coordination or a lack of mastery in the Asian squat. 
3. Don’t Have a Student Athlete’s Old Locker: If your locker belonged to an athlete last year, you know they were shoving their shoes and their gym clothes into it. Your books will smell like sweat for the rest of the year. Unless you’re a student-athlete yourself and you’re used to it, avoid these lockers like the flu during finals week.  

It may not seem like it, but picking a locker is a delicate art. Make sure to take this refined guide with you to next year’s MAZE day to ensure straight A’s and a perfect life. Happy locker picking!