On April 20, the first annual intermural vaping competition was held at Tak Fudenna Stadium, with the Vikings emerging victorious. In competitive vaping, each team must work together to create the vape cloud with the largest volume. For every vaper, there was an entire support team with a pit crew that switched out the batteries to ensure longevity and power.  

After the introduction of competitive vaping in Irvington sports at the end of last year, Vikings worked hard practicing for the league championship. 

“Freakin’ admin won’t let us practice on campus,” team captain Stew Pid (12) lamented. “We either have to sneak it in class or find somewhere off campus to practice.” 

However, their efforts were not in vain. After two months of intensive training, they were ready to face the other schools, including those with more practice.

“The other more shady schools, they get to practice freely on campus,” said Pid. “We were sort of ready to be obliterated by the other schools.”

Fifteen minutes before the teams were supposed to face off, a quarrel erupted in the locker room. While the Vikings practiced their craft on the football field, a few competitors snuck into the locker room. 

“They wanted to play dirty, so I did too,” chief crew Yun Helthea (10) said, grinning and holding a lock of his opponent’s hair that he had ripped out. “The Mission kids were trying to steal the German batteries we bought for ten dollars apiece. I ran into the locker room and used my precious battery changing arm to fight them.”

Students were outraged, and referees had to break up the fight. Noticeably though, there were a couple of attendants that were more than willing to stand by and watch the brawl.

“Vaping makes teens irritable, which makes for great entertainment,” said the Irvington coach, chewing on a Tootsie Pop. “I don’t pay for Netflix or Hulu anymore. What the kids do is funny enough.”

Others in the community have caught onto the message as well, as Tak Fudenna stadium was as full as it was during graduation. After the fight settled down, all the schools’ athletes arranged themselves around the football field and began vaping. Referees ran feverishly around the field, measuring the volume of each of the schools’ collective clouds and making sure the pit  crews weren’t using illegal tools. On the athletes’ side, they chain vaped intensely, occasionally switching vape flavors and vape pens.

“I thought I vaped my lungs out,” Spud Smith (11) said. “At one point, I almost passed out, but I saw my teammates still blowing, so I kept going too.”

After a long fifteen minute interval, at least one member of the other schools’ teams had passed out, while Irvington stayed strong. Eventually, they were able to pull off the win, as the other schools’ athletes lost heart and their breath.

The Vikings’ win inspired other students to try out the sport too.  

“I want to try it too!” said Duh Mee (9). “When I was walking into the stadium, I thought an atomic bomb was going off!”

After the win, a hoard of wannabe vapers stormed the field, surrounding the winners and screaming their names. Luckily for them, it isn’t hard to become a pro-vaper, as demonstrated by the victorious Vikings.

“Competitive vaping is a sport for anyone whether or not you consider yourself athletic,” Pid said. “You don’t need much training at all. It just comes naturally.”