Clowning around

The clown was super scary.

The clown was super scary.

Risheek Priyadarshi, Editor-in-Chief

In the wake of recent clown attacks across the nation, the clown fad has finally reached Fremont. Fremontonians have been preparing for the worst because the clowns have been terrorizing children and adults.

“I got into shape after the first August attack so I wouldn’t be caught by a clown,” stated senior Phattew Man. “All I have to do is outrun at least one person to survive.”

Fremont recently got its own clown, the “Clown of Fremont” who boasts about planned attacks on his social media accounts. On Oct. 15, he posted on Instagram, telling people that he’d be waiting for children and adults at Fremont Hub. At least he doesn’t discriminate by age.

Survivors of the incident reported that it was rather disappointing. The clown attacks from other parts of the United States were much more terrifying than what they saw that day.

“I was really scared of clowns, but when I met him, I realized I worked out for nothing,” said Man. “When he started walking towards me, I ran until I heard him trip over his own shoes.”

Unlike his scarier counterparts, this clown tried to intimidate his victims using unorthodox methods, from making “scary” balloon animals to wearing freakishly big shoes.

“I was actually pretty disappointed,”  said survivor Push Atel. “I was going to run away from him but he handed me a balloon animal, saying it was a poisonous snake that was going to bite me one day.”

Disappointed survivors reflected on the entire experience.

“Honestly, this election, especially Trump, is scarier than these clowns,” said Starvesh Malihananan.