Transnational love destroys all barriers

Isha Sanghvi, Staff Writer

Brangelina’s end has all of us questioning whether or not true love exists. But, rest assured, at least something good has emerged from the absolute chaos of the 2016 presidential election, Dutin. The relationship between the Republican presidential “candidate,” Donald Trump and Russian president, Vladimir Putin is taking over not only hearts, but taking over headlinesanything to take our mind off the doomsday approaching on November 8. The transatlantic love affair shows Trump is, contrary to popular belief, capable of loving someone other than himself. Trump has continuously protected his partner in the scrutiny of public eye, adoringly calling him “easy on the eyes and easy to manipulate.” Putin responded by demanding that American citizens vote for Trump, or else face the threat of a nuclear wintertoo bad Trump presidency isn’t predicted to be any different.

Russia has gone to “yuge” lengths to secure a Trump presidency. Putin hacked Hillary Clinton’s private Tumblr and Myspace accounts, releasing troves of Clinton memes expected to surface the day after the election. Syria’s Bashar al Assad, amidst the struggle of the crippling civil war, also somehow found the time to help out Trump. Assad created photos of him holding tacos under a Mexican flag in efforts to soothe relations with Mexican voters. That is, the ones who haven’t left to Canada yet. Consequently, Donald Trump’s approval rating has increased to 101.3 percent among conservative voters last year.

Donald Trump addressed his dramatic surge in the polls with his speech at the Democratic National Convention. While he wasn’t allowed to enter (the dress code for the evening prohibiting orange), he appealed to the “Bernie or Bust” supporters. SNL later used his paid speeches as footage for their latest episode, “Trumping the Bern”. Be sure to catch it on November 20th, coincidentally the day Trump voters will cast their ballots.

As Russia catapults Trump to presidency, Putin and Trump continue to prove political love is the most powerful of all, bringing about an era of a new American and Russian romance. Brangelina, your time is over. It’s time for Dutin to take the stage and hopefully not take over the world.