Since the dramatic drop in ratings from last Hunger Games, President Snow took an administrative decision and cancelled the Hunger Games. Studies show that people don’t like watching others die anymore, so the Hunger Games will be replaced with actual legislation that will benefit society and push all 12-ish districts out of poverty. The Hunger Games will be replaced with the “Hunger Gets Left Behind” program. For the first time since Panem became a dystopian society, the government has turned to politics, not violence, for the answer.

Former Tributes are relieved with the news about the future of the Games.

“I just wanted to be a baker,” said District 12 tribute Katniss Everdeen. “But my hopes were destroyed when I was forced to volunteer for the Games.”

“Wait, I thought I was the baker,” District 12 tribute Peeta Mellark replied. “What do you even mean, Cat-piss? I was literally a baker before this. There can only be one baker in this relationship.”

The “Hunger Gets Left Behind” program was introduced by President Snow as a way of combating the severe poverty the districts face.

“I have no idea what it does because I didn’t even write it,” said President Snow. “Why are you asking me these questions?”

After investigating the confusion further, an anonymous source, who wishes to remain anonymous, wrote the “Hunger Gets Left Behind” bill under President Snow’s name.

“I hated participating in the events and my first kiss being broadcasted for the whole world to see,” said the anonymous source. “The Games have used me twice!”

Because the bill was “signed” by President Snow, it will permanently replace the Hunger Games, at least until Snow can learn to write a bill abolishing the “Hunger Gets Left Behind” program.