Horoscopes for the week of June 4 – June 10

Subaita Rahman, Staff Writer

Aries: Mar 21 – Apr 19

You might use your upcoming free time to dabble in different styles and aesthetics. Keep in mind, though – hipster, grunge, and boho are out the window now. The “hypebeast trying to stay cool while still repping an ‘Anti-Social Social Club’ hoodie and Supreme hat” look is about to become the next big thing this summer. (You can thank us later.)


Taurus: Apr 20 – May 20

This week is your time to shine. Talk to that senior you’ve been eyeing all year – you have nothing to lose now. They’ll be gone before you know it, so use them to practice your best pick-up lines. Time to realize your true potential.


Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Now would be a good time to take a look at the some of the friends you made this year (if any). Out of all the times you’ve asked for homework, how many times have they replied, “Oh, no, it’s probably all wrong anyway”? Was that really their last piece of binder paper? Be careful in the company you keep.


Cancer: June 21- July 22

You need to be sure to stay strong through the dangerous epidemic sweeping Irvington right now. Attendance clerks and teachers are baffled as to why all these kids are too sick to go to class, so be careful. You’re especially vulnerable to falling ill in this last month of school.


Leo: July 23 – Aug 22

Be careful about sharing those AP memes on Twitter. As relatable as they are, College Board is (probably) looking for someone to bust, and you’re right in their line of fire. Retweet responsibility.


Virgo: Aug 23 – Sept 22

As tempting as all the shows in your Netflix queue may be, you need to be careful not to get too distracted. Finals week is your last chance to pick up those grades you’ve horribly neglected all year. 13 Reasons Why will always be there (and no, season two is not out yet).


Libra: Sept 23 – Oct 22

As summer approaches, you’ve recently been more aware of how horrifyingly single you are. Don’t worry, though, because the person you’ve been waiting for has been in front of you this whole time. Well, in your phone. Scroll past all the game requests and ranting in those pointless class group chats and you just might find the one. Time is ticking!


Scorpio: Oct 23 – Nov 21

You’ll need to practice your fake smile especially hard this week, and try not to roll your eyes when people insist that you “for sure need to hang out this summer!” Just humor them for now, you can leave them on “read” much later.


Sagittarius: Nov 22 – Dec 21

Some life-changing news will come to you this summer. You should brace yourself for some major shifts in your perspective. Here it is: there are drinks other than boba. I know, I know, I was shocked to hear it too. Stay strong; the possibilities for “secret” Frappucino flavors are endless.


Capricorn: Dec 22 – Jan 19

This week is the time you’ll pluck up the courage to let go of your pesky S.O. It’s been coming for a long time-they’ve been the cause of all your stress and anxiety. Let them go this week; I promise it’ll turn out okay. That bastard probably won’t notice a thing anyway. Shame on them for not knowing you exist.


Aquarius: Jan 2 – Feb 18

You’re going to get in a lot of arguments this upcoming week, Aquarius. Your viewpoints will be attacked from every end, so you need to practice your morning mirror pep talks and stick up for yourself. Pineapple does belong on pizza, dammit. Don’t let anyone sway you.


Pisces: Feb 19 – Mar 20

Your aggressive nature is going to land you in a tough spot pretty soon. Be careful to take deep breaths and tone down the frustration – demanding a grade change because you “had to deal with this class and all the s*** you threw at us all year” might be frowned upon. Take it easy.