Will you PROMise me to never do that again?


Aip Hkerap

You can’t see it but Kapi is wearing the exact same bowtie Kad is.

Camyll Reyes, Staff Writer

With prom season just coming to an end, The Voice decided to tie up some loose strings. Looking back, no one has addressed the sins of the fallen prom participators and it is absurd. Alas, time comes where one shall speak up. There are many unspoken incidents done in the name of prom that tarnish the glory of the night. These horrific cases are grueling enough to make your stomach turn, thus officials are too ashamed to reveal the truth. I, however, am not. I will lay down the facts and leave it up to you, the reader, to decide who was right, and who was wrong.

The first case is of that of an innocent soul, Fael, who had good intentions, but lacked in intelligence and presentation. This was a promposal of utter chaos. You see, Fael and his intended date bonded over cake. The plan was simple: ask Susan the words “Will you go to” and proceed to open up a box of cake iced with the words “prom with me?” Coincidentally, Fael scheduled his cake to be delivered the same day a bitter ex-boyfriend decided to deliver a “go to hell” cake to him. As Susan immediately threw the cake at Fael, he never learned what was truly written in the icing.

Our next case came about because of the lack of mindfulness done by Mackenzie Dumblap. On the night of prom, four girls that are closer than sisters, chose to ride in style in a limo. Mackenzie, in charge of transportation and desiring to save money, rented out a limousine on Uber under the option “carpool”. Never choose carpool. Due to Mackenzie’s incompetence, her and the girls sat through an hour and a half of a pretentious, debuting opera singer running through their lines.

The final case is not unheard of, though barely anyone is brave enough to talk about it. There is a fine line between accidentally twinning casual outfits with a homie and straight-up stealing an outfit design. Seniors Kapi and Cad crossed that line. Who crossed it first? We will never know. What we do know is that Kapi turned up to the venue at 8:30 p.m. in a dark blue suit and at 8:33 p.m. Cad walked in with the exact attire. They wore the exact same Cole Haan dress shoes, Hugo Boss blazers, and Lanvin silk satin black bow tie. Witnesses claim the boys initiated the fight once light descended upon their rose gold cufflinks.

“The cufflinks did it for me,” recalls Cad. “I ordered my pair freshman year and he has the audacity to shine them in my face.”

No one knows what happened to these three culprits. Fael, Mackenzie, and Kapi were never heard of again–but that was main in part to the deactivation of their social media accounts. Lesson learned, I hope you realize the error in their mistakes and in turn have fun effortlessly drifting into the night with your matching date or thoughtful girlfriends.