F1 Recruiters Look at Irvington High School

A minivan looks to set a lap record on a F1 track

A minivan looks to set a lap record on a F1 track

IRVINGTON HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT–  There have been reports of F1 recruiters in the Irvington Parking lot. The sound of engines revving and tires squealing is what first brought these esteemed individuals to our lot. 

“We love the sound of engines, it is really attractive to all the single people in the area and definitely does not make people believe you have no life” said an anonymous F1 recruiter. 

Although F1 cars are notoriously hard to control, many people believe that because of the popularity of old minivans and muscle cars, kids from Irvington will be adept in handling these hard to use cars. Many even believe that the Irvington special, the rev your engine and squeal your tires around the curb, prepares our burgeoning racers for the tracks of Italy and Saudi Arabia. From insider sources we have heard that the loudest engines and the loudest squeals are being looked at as serious contenders for the few spots available in F1 racing.

Apart from generalities, the team is looking for very specific individuals that they think could be a real help in their teams. The first goes by the name Aaron Duda and has been rumored to hit 98 MPH when traveling. His breakneck speed is what drew the recruiters to search for his name, but for some reason he is very reclusive and unwilling to meet the recruiters. From sources close to him, they say he is afraid of what people will think of him if he agrees to join the racing scene. The other driver is even more reclusive an is only known by the nickname “shrimpy” for his diminutive size. He has been rumored to hit over 100 in residential areas. His deft handling of his car has left even Max Verstappen in awe. No one knows his real name, but recruiters are definitely attracted to his driving prowess. 

Apart from raw driving the recruiters are looking at Irvington to fill out their pit teams. The reputation of Irvington as a bunch of nerds has led them to believe that we could help improve some of their practices and increase the speed of their drivers. Currently, they have reached out to Mrs. Berbawy to see if there are any recommendations that she has from her classes, but more information is yet to be revealed by them. 

The recruiters are also talking with the administration to see what drivers they recommend. Unsurprisingly, the drivers that the administration thought were bad were the ones that the F1 recruiters were the most amazed by. They have also stalked the Instagram account called Irvington’s bad parking to see which students were the most featured. They have identified two people by the name of Daboss and Lincoln respectively that they believe could help improve their team’s skills.   

You may see the recruiters on the curbs with stopwatches and sun visors looking for the next Lewis Hamilton. If you think you have what it takes to be the next great F1 driver, rev your engine and squeal your tires some more because it definitely attracts people and does not drive them away.