On Friday, April 1, the Irvington Vikings put up a very good fight against the James Logan Colts in a home game of sportsball. They tried to win.

When the score reached 0-60 in the 57th inning, Fayel Ure (11) ran off home plate, picked up the bat, and started swinging it at the Colts coach to assert dominance. Ure scored hits on the coach and had several runs from him, literally. Colts coach Wyarr U. Running chased Ure across the field for twenty minutes.

Dandy Lion (10) made Irvington history by setting a record for making the longest daisy chain in one sitting on the field during a game, at 8 feet long.

“It’s an honor to make Irvington prou—ACHOO,” commented Lion. “Pollen allergies.”

The Vikings also displayed their dedication to fans and the spirit of the game. Ayer Ball (10) passed the sportsball to a young spectator in the stands wearing a red uniform with a horse on it. Ball exemplified what makes team sports collaborative and fun.

“I thought he was playing on our team,” said Ball. “Red jersey? It looked Irvington silver to me.”

The fan was immensely grateful for Ball’s kindness.

“Nice. We just gained another point for that,” claimed the fan. “Go Colts!”

Unfortunately, the Colts forgot to bring extra balls, halting the game’s progress in the 100th inning. Both teams worried about the fate of the game when the score was 0-145. Who would win? Fortunately, Irvington sportsball coach Socker Måm obtained a ping-pong ball after much desperation.

“The game must go on,” described Måm. 

Despite making it to third base, Lou Ser (12) didn’t kick the ping-pong ball hard enough and narrowly yielded the game at 1-300 after 250 innings. They still tried really hard, and that’s what matters. 

Irvington Student Kriti Kal (11) believed Irvington High School “kinda sucks at sports.”

“We really suck!” described Kal. “I’m not sure why we even try.” 

“Shut up lol,” said Måm.

The Vikings currently have a record of 0-100 overall. Their next game will be against the undefeated Warm Springs Little League A’s.