Adam Sandler’s new movie, You Are SO NOT Invited To My Bat Mitzvah, hit Netflix on August 25, 2023, taking everyone back to their crazy junior high days. You don’t have to be in junior high or 14 years old to appreciate this crazy coming-of-age movie with a bar set high because of a Bat Mitzvah. In Jewish culture, a Bar (for boys) or Bat (for girls) Mitzvah celebration is significant because it is seen as the time of coming of age, when a child becomes an adult.
Adam Sandler is the producer and one of the primary characters of this movie with his whole family acting in the movie too. Sandler plays the dad Danny Friedman, while his daughter Sunny Sandler plays Stacy Friedman, one of the show’s two main characters. Sandler’s other daughter, Sadie Sandler, plays the quirky but impatient older sister, Ronnie Friedman, while Jackie Sandler plays the role of Gabi Rodriguez, the divorced mom of Stacy’s bestie, Lydia Rodriguez Katz (played by Samantha Lorraine).
In the movie, middle-schoolers Stacy and Lydia are best friends, about to have their bat mitzvahs. Lydia is Stacy’s lifelong best friend, and the film successfully conveys the intense friendship of their childhood where they were constantly supportive and supported in all aspects of their lives.
The girls believe that the party of their bat mitzvah celebrations is more vital concern than the reading from the Torah (the first five books of The Bible) or the mitzvah (charity) project. Although they agree that it’s nice, they reassure one another that “Your Candyland theme is going to be the best of the year!” “Up until your New York Theme!” In order to generate “awwwws” from the crowd before Lydia makes her grand appearance to the celebration, Stacy does something equally important for Lydia: she makes the cute biography video.
But everything goes wrong when a cute boy, Andy Goldfarb, comes in between them. Stacy may have wanted Andy ever since she laid eyes on him, but Lydia joins the crowd where every girl is attracted to him. After Stacy completely humiliates herself while attempting to impress him, things start to go wrong. Stacy witnesses Andy kissing Lydia, which triggers the dramatic statement in the title. Andy is as cute and cool as it gets, especially when compared with other boys in their circle such as the tense Aaron (Judd Goodstein) and the super-sweet, mop-haired Mateo (Dean Scott Vazquez). Stacy is too focused on her love for Andy that she doesn’t even realize how much love Mateo has for her!
Looking at Stacy’s personal life, she focuses on more important aspects of her life, such as memorizing the chanting of her Torah portion and doing a good deed for her Mitzvah project. Additionally, the celebration portion of these events is frequently a lavish occasion with its own unique set of unrealistic expectations. But, her priorities are more about the party than anything she is learning about Judaism or being an adult. She explains to her parents that the rest of it “is important to you and other old people and God and stuff, but to me, it’s the party.”
Overall, the film doesn’t specifically condemn the situation of today’s posh bat mitzvahs. The Friedmans, who appear to be middle-class, do their best to restrain Stacy’s party when they can, perhaps as a modest criticism. Sarah Sherman, who plays the chirpy rabbi on “Saturday Night Live,” argues that helping out at a nursing home so you can hang out with your sweetheart is hardly a mitzvah activity. In contrast, the rabbi’s ridiculous song, “God is Random,” in answer to the students’ inquiries about unfairness in the world, represents a lost opportunity to impart some knowledge on this enduring question to the class and the audience. Overall, I would rate this movie a ⅗, because the writing could’ve been better, the movie’s similar to every high school movie but this one is more religious based. It was nice to see them connecting with their religion but at the same time the movie could’ve tone downed on the drama.
