Former Dance Moms and mega-star JoJo Siwa couldn’t be more desperate with her latest series of stunts that are aimed to cling to any shred of fame and attention.
Sources say JoJo Siwa has commissioned a wax statue of herself, which would be her permanent plus one to any and all public events. “I’m worried that I’ll scare the women away with my plus one, but they don’t realize that any girl who shoots her shot at me, gets me and my wax statue,” Siwa reported. Her rizz has rose to it’s max limit, and it’s about time we show some appreciation.
In a desperate cross-promotional bid, JoJo Siwa recorded herself singing “Unholy” by Sam Smith, but replaced lyrics with bizarre realtor jargon about curb appeals and different listing prices in LA. Somehow, it’s still better than “Karma.”
Siwa has also been spotted at many local elementary schools, standing in front of class doors and waving at students with spirit fingers in hopes one might recognize her. “Heyyyyyy kids, remember me? The kid who danced with a big bow? No? Ugh.”
In one of her most attention-starved moves, she photoshopped herself into vintage paparazzi shots of celebrity breakups and scandals, including being next to Jesse James in his infamous Nazi picture. No one is quite sure what message she’s trying to convey.
JoJo Siwa even bought a Vegas billboard that advertises her “ex-filed podcast” with messaging that reads: “Listen as I give relationship advice and inside details on my past like, four relationships!”
There were also many reports claiming that Siwa has her team into purchasing a Nickelodeon rerun package to air her old shows on a 24/7 loop to re-expose herself to youth audiences. Honestly, that’s more effective than whatever she’s trying to do right now.
JoJo Siwa also decided to tattoo “JoJo Siwa” on her entire back to be recognizable in public by name. But after a celebrity tattoo artist took a look at the request, they responded “thanks, but no thanks, I don’t want to be associated with whatever this is 🙂”
At this point, JoJo Siwa needs to stop clinging to her little bit of fame and choose a new career. The word is that JoJo is going to college to get an education degree to become a teacher, and influence kids to become like her. Let’s make sure this doesn’t turn into the apocalypse, and keep an eye out for JoJo’s new expeditions because she’s a bad girl doing some bad things.
