Love, commitment, and emotional attachment. Why would people ever want to do this to themselves? Relationships should be like that sock that will inevitably get sucked up and swallowed by your washer. They should be replaceable and forgettable, but for some reason, everyone wants to be “chalant” about everything. 

Emotional attachment is clingy, and commitment is exhausting. Like, I already have to remember my own schedule, and now I’m expected to care about yours? I’m supposed to text back within a reasonable time frame and ask about your day while I pretend I care? That’s honestly setting us both up for failure. If you think about it, being in a nonchalant relationship is a win-win situation. There’s no need to stress over responses or pretend you’re interested in your significant other’s 50th complaint about their Bio teacher. Life’s just too short for that kind of emotional labor. 

Let’s be real. Breakups don’t even matter when you guys were never really even together. One day you’re talking, the next day you’re not, and the world will keep spinning. No heartache, no sad depressing late-night playlists, no over analyzing and rereading old conversations like they’re ancient scriptures holding the secrets of the universe (not like I’ve personally done any of these things). You just get to move on. Because were you even a thing? Who knows. Who cares?

Minimal effort equals maximum freedom, and that’s just the most basic math. The less you put into a relationship, the more time you have to take naps (what I used to tell myself). Nonchalant relationships are also drama free, meaning you can really do whatever you want without having to update your bae and without the constant nagging “When are you getting home? Where are you right now?”. If you want to hang out with someone else, no strings attached. Forgot their birthday, they’re nonchalant, they probably forgot about it too! 

Or course, that chalant crowd ALWAYS has something to say. “What about the emotional connection?” So actually, what are you paying your therapist for? “Love makes life meaningful!” If you need another person to make your life meaningful, that’s on you. “People are literally built to find love and affection with other people.” Right… So where’s your love and connection? At least I’m not butthurt by my lack of a significant other. 

At the end of the day, I’m just saying we should all be a little less chalant. Keep calm and stop chasing your ex. They don’t care.