During the month of March, Irvington High School reported a record high in the number of students being rescinded, an increase of 135% from last year. Recent investigations into the online search histories of students on school devices revealed that over 300 seniors were dually enrolled in the elective, New College Surviva1 101, and had bought thousands of dollars worth of explosives like TNT.
For their final project, the students were instructed to ‘leave a lasting impression’ on the future generations of the school. However, several of these students misinterpreted the assignment, to the detriment of the community. The furious flames short-circuited the entire power grid, leaving multiple classrooms without power for days. Eyewitnesses reported seeing suspicious seniors walking around in ski masks nearby at the time of the fire, for no reason except that they were apparently “just looking around.”
The administration at Irvington did end up placing the guilty seniors in multiple detentions, but this punishment wasn’t enough to deter them.
“We are currently looking into construction crews, but rest assured we will deal with the culprits, no matter what.” a representative at the district said.
When asked about why students would resort to committing such crimes, Auhr Sunhist, who was involved in the incident, revealed, “We were just trying to get a day off of school. I feel like everyone is being so dramatic.”
Indeed, senioritis has been a major issue for Irvington students, but it has been especially prevalent this year. The only thing that motivates them is finding new, creative ways to get out of taking their final exams and doing their homework.
Some seniors have found ways to put a positive spin on their situation. Skewl Sahks admitted, “I feel like getting rescinded isn’t a big deal. I think it’s great because I don’t have to go to college at all! Good luck making me take that math test now!”
Administration at these universities have found themselves buried under mounds of paperwork at the unprecedented amount of rescinded students. “Many of them are also facing charges for online terrorism,” said Icanth Doothis, Dean of Admissions at Super University. “That’s more work for us to sort out.”
“It isn’t just the fire. The students also crashed the WiFi network and overloaded the Chromebooks,” Doothis added.
But other students at Irvington had a different outlook on the situation. The class-wide movement was seen as more of an expression of freedom against the oppression of the sluggish network and the clunky computers. The fire was a statement against the struggles they’ve faced throughout the past four years.
While the numbers might be slightly negative, and most seniors have a couple of criminal charges, this year’s college season has demonstrated the creativity and innovation of the Class of 2025. Whether next year’s batch of seniors proves to be as entertaining as this year’s remains to be seen.
