Let’s be honest — dating is hard. Finding someone to latch onto, changing your entire self with dreams of reciprocation, plotting on them, finding someone to wingman, finally interacting with them, and somehow making it to a talking stage (or somehow even a relationship)…is hard. So, a huge props to every girl at Irvington who has survived the struggle and persevered, securing the man of her dreams despite the odds, which were definitely not in her favor!
Of course, some may critique your relationship, whether it be the questionable things your boyfriend says to his friends or the way he interacts with other women. But, don’t worry. Here at The Voice, we’ve done extensive research on how to fix him. Trust us — implement the measures discussed below, he’ll be as good as new in no time.
Slurs: This one is practically inevitable with any man at Irvington. If this isn’t an issue in your relationship, congratulations — this article is not for you. Your boyfriend is perfect as is. You don’t need our help. For those struggling, sending him the occasional Instagram social justice warrior post should do just the trick. If you want to occasionally spice it up, you can repost it too! Your advocacy can change him, and can also outweigh his ignorance. However, there is another route you can take: indulging in it. This is something we saw quite frequently throughout our research! Want to stop embarrassing him by correcting him? Join him in his speech.
Women: Honestly, this won’t be an issue for everyone. A majority of men don’t even know how to talk to women, so if this applies to you, you’re in for a challenge. The solution? There isn’t one. Try the occasional scolding when he comments on another girl’s post or edit her English essay when he’s clearly the least qualified person for the job. Or, become their best friend too! Keep your friends close and your enemies closer – except in this case, abandon your friends and let your so-called “enemies” become your new besties. But just so you know, this issue is beyond fixing. Even we don’t have an answer.
Weird friends: This is a collective effort. By fixing men one by one, we’re ensuring that the entire network Irvington’s male population becomes semi-decent individuals. Weird friends are unfortunately unavoidable. But as with everything, we have a solution: join them. Get to know them, integrate yourself in their group, and do everything you can to further immerse yourself in their lives. Don’t worry about your own friends — they’re secondary. Your primary focus should, and must, be your boyfriend and his inner circle. By making his friends yours, any doubts you may have had of them originally will slowly be dissolved into comforting feelings of male validation and support.
The journey may be hard, and you might face criticism along the way, but it’s all worth it in the end. This high school relationship will survive, and when you’re getting married at 19 in the SJSU pavilion, just remember to invite The Voice — your personal cupid for all high school relationship troubles.
