Hi. I, unfortunately, am someone you’d call a “serial dater.” Now, when you think of a serial dater, you probably think of a fantastic hedonistic lifestyle, surrounded constantly by men and women. But the truth is not as glamorous as it might seem. No one talks about the drudgery one must go through, dragging themselves through the mud to achieve such “glory.” No one mentions the pain of responding and sending 50 good morning messages on WhatsApp. Having to pay for Snapchat premium to simplify the process of responding to messages of monumental proportions. It is truly a miserable life.

 My story began a 1000 suns ago, on the eve of a full moon. I was completing my despondent trudge from prison (IHS), when a woman came up to me. “Take my number,” she said. I tried to refuse but it was too late, she had taken my phone and opened it with face id. That is when my hell began.

Sometimes it was good, I didn’t respond to them, they got mad and the relationship ended (my personal best is 30 minutes, she dumped me in school!). However, I often did not get off that easy. In the backseat of a car, as she’s driving me to another girl’s house, all while texting 6 different girls; it was too much to manage. In fact, that is why I refer to myself as being used and abused. It is a tragic life, and if I could go back and change everything, I would. 

It eats into every single one of my day to day activities, and I don’t have time to have fun anymore. Last night, I tried watching Shrek but I ended up only being able to see half of it because half of my screen was covered by the constant stream of notifications. Friends? Who has time for that? I can’t even go to parties because I’m scared for my life, I almost got trampled to death last time I was there. 

I just wish all of this would end. I didn’t ask to be a serial dater, and I didn’t ask for it to take over my life. I want a few moments alone, a few moments where I am not being coerced to respond to 500 messages every hour, 6 dates a day and rejecting marriage proposals every weekend. I want to have a normal life, know what it feels like to be rejected, and try to obtain a relationship. My life sucks.