Welcome, Freshmen!

Helpful Advice to get you through the year, courtesy of your helpful upperclassmen

By Enya Kuo

To the petrified freshmen stepping into Irvington for the first time: your upperclassmen embrace you with complete acceptance and utter love. We’ve all been there and experienced shock and fright of Irvington’s spectacular hallway traffic. Here is some heartfelt guidance that we hope will make your days at Irvington less unbearable.

  1. Always carry rolling backpacks: the more wheels, the better.
  2. Complain to your upperclassmen about your workload; we understand how terribly burdening your work is.
  3. Procrastinate! This is precisely why the government gave you three entire years to catch up on academics.
  4. Brag about the prestige of your honors classes.
  5. Who has time to run to his / her locker between classes? Carry all your textbooks with you everywhere.
  6. Flaunt your Facebook middle names. They’re very cool.
  7. When in doubt, keep your questions to yourself. You’re supposed to be shy and scared; don’t confuse your teachers by asking them questions.
  8. The different pockets in your backpack are there for a reason (a.k.a. organization). Use them instead of binders, which clip your fingers.
  9. Advisory time = nap time. As the ancient proverb says: “A good rest is half the work.”
  10. Memorize all your homework. It’s good brain workout: plus if you forget your homework, then you won’t have to do it!