Dying of Laughter

Famous figures and their absurdly humorous last words

By: Arya Sureshbabu

1. “I am about to — or I am going to — die. Either expression is correct.” – Dominique Bouhours. This famous French grammarian set the golden standard for English teachers everywhere by remaining a stickler for proper sentence structure until the very end.
2. “I live!” – Caligula, who was clearly in denial. His own guards were stabbing him to death.
3. “I wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.” –Kit Carson
4. “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.”—George Appel, who screamed his last remarks out to the press before being strapped into the electric chair for the murder of two.
5. “Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!” – Groucho Marx
6. “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” – Voltaire, when asked by a particularly zealous clergyman to renounce Satan before he died.
7. “I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.”—Humphrey Bogart
8. “Is it my birthday? Or am I dying?” – Lady Nancy Astor, who could only come up with two explanations for why the entire extended family was invading her bedroom.
9. “I have been a most unconscionable time dying, but I beg you to excuse it.”—Charles II, who apparently did not view death as a reasonable excuse for being less than gentlemanly.
10.  “Doctor, do you think it could have been the sausage?” – Paul Claudel