History teacher takes up garbage disposal job

By Karthik Mayilvahanan | Editor in Chief

When Mr. Vucurevich began teaching two years ago, he noticed a glaring problem in the student body: too much food. “I came to realize that students are plagued with too much food, and were being overfed,” said Mr. V. “I felt a need to help alleviate this problem for the good of the students, whether they wanted my help for not.”

Mr. V’s Involuntary Food Disposal Service takes food out of students’ hands and into Mr. V’s mouth. Business boomed for Mr V’s Involuntary Food Disposal Service from the very beginning. It had gone so well that at one point, Mr. V considered taking it up full time. “I had considered getting out of teaching altogether and focusing solely on food disposal,” said Mr. V. “But I am afraid they will no longer allow me on campus if I do.”

Currently, Mr V’s Involuntary Food Disposal Service is looking into new markets to increase profits. “My business has not expanded into the Advisory markets yet, as the clientele are generally sour in disposition and loathe to part with their meals,” noted Mr. V. “Expect more concerted efforts from me in this area next year.”

Ultimately, Mr. V. loves everything about the job. “I like knowing that I am making a difference, and the profits are delicious.”