You survived finals. Now what?
By Michelle Huang | Staff Writer
Finals week. A collective nightmare of last minute all-nighters, panicking over our futures, and the terror that is angry Asian parents. Now that we’ve emerged somewhat unscathed from the (hopefully only proverbial) fire, it’s time to let out a collective sigh of relief. So now that the bitter taste of failure has faded to only a lingering memory and we’re past the point of no return, here are some things to do with your life.
- Build a paper fort
If your parents are actually making good on their threat to disown you, fear not! It turns out that your failed assignments and tests provide fantastic shelter from the elements; they’re so soaked through with your tears at this point that a bit of rain won’t make a difference, anyways. Once you’ve built a fort that surpasses all the dreams you’ve given up on fulfilling, use the leftover paper as kindling. At least it’ll keep you warm.
- Hibernate
You dragged yourself out of lethargy and procrastination to cram for finals; now that that’s over, you might as well return to your same old routine. Maybe you’ll poke your head out once second semester finals come around. Until then, try to fit back into the crease your body left on the couch in front of your TV and wipe the old crumbs off your remote. Back to Netflix for you.
- Open (and actually read) your textbook
You know you didn’t open bother to open it before. Maybe you should try doing so now. Who am I kidding? Use it for the shelter I mentioned earlier.
- Drop out
It’s too late to save your academic life, but it’s never too late to go on a mind-blowing adventure. Travel around the world, swim with sharks, go skydiving off of Mount Everest, and make sure to you document your fun on social media. There’s no satisfaction like knowing that you’re having the time of your life while your peers are still slaving away in school. Even if you run out of money and are forced to pay off your debts for the rest of your life, at least you’ll probably end up being featured in a Buzzfeed article. Hey, maybe they’ll even make a movie about you!
