Holiday representatives hold obstacle race competition to determine the superior holiday


Emily Joe, Staff Writer

Disgruntled representatives of all the unappreciated holidays of the year called a meeting to compete for the title of “Superior Holiday.” The attending holiday representatives were ecstatic to be at the event, determined to finally bring Christmas down.

“I’m excited to have the opportunity to represent Valentine’s Day,” said Cupid. “The world is convinced that it’s ‘cringey,’ and that ‘everyday should be Valentine’s Day,’ so I need to win this event to earn everyone’s respect.”

On the other hand, others thought they were too good for the whole event.

“I know that I’m going to win anyways,” Santa said. “Everyone loves me, so how can I lose?”

It was decided that the first representative to cross the finish line in the appropriately themed holiday obstacle course race would be deemed the superior holiday. Reffed by nearby pedestrians, the rules stated that representatives were prohibited from using any props brought with them and could not damage the obstacle course.

Several of the representatives were overjoyed that they didn’t have to debate for their own holiday and viewed the race as their ticket to the spotlight.

“ I’m glad that we’re doing the obstacle course, “ said Colonel Kernell. “As a veteran, I have a big advantage over all the other holidays especially big ol’ Santa over there.”

As the representatives were called to line up for the race, the Pumpkin King turned his attention to Santa.

“Ladies and gentlemen, let the first annual Hunger Games begin,” whispered the Pumpkin King into Santa’s fearful ear.

When the race began, the Pumpkin King pulled ahead with his long strides with Cupid close behind him. However, Colonel Kernell, the Easter Bunny, groundhog Sun Shadow, Turkey Gobble, and other representatives also kept up with the leading contestants while Santa was trailing at the back.

Through the carrot-shaped section of the obstacle course, the Easter Bunny couldn’t resist his grumbling stomach and bit into the inflatable, which deflated and entrapped any holiday representatives that were behind the hungry bunny. With the majority of the holidays unable to move on, The Pumpkin King, Cupid, Colonel Kernell, and Santa, who was too far behind to be caught in the carrot mess, were the remaining participants.

When Colonel Kernell pulled in front of the tired Cupid, the flying baby tactically used his arrows on the Colonel to distract him from the race. Although the tactic worked, Cupid was disqualified for using an additional weapon. With a significant distance between him and Santa, the excited Pumpkin King approached the last obstacle and accidentally burned down the course, disqualifying him from the race.

The whole crowd then cheered for the Christmas spirit as he slowly made his way through the ashes of the obstacle course. However, Santa tripped on a rubber band and broke his ear bone three feet from the finish line. So close, yet so far, Santa was forced to forfeit due to his low pain tolerance.

The referees announced that no holiday had won the race, so none of the holidays became the “Superior Holiday.” Despite this setback, all of the participants were happy to spend time with each other. Baby New Year couldn’t stop smiling through the whole event. The groundhogs indulged in belly rubs. Cupid was secretly shipping the holiday representatives with each other. Even Santa had a change of heart.

“Even though all of the holidays were salty about Christmas being the best holiday, I’m glad that we had this event,” Santa said. “That way the other holidays realize that others appreciate them too.”