IHS presidential candidate Shrump colluded with MSJ?


A totally legit photo.

Kayla Xu, Staff Writer

On Feb. 12, 2018, evidence charging current Irvington High School ASG presidential candidate I. H. Shrump with rigging student votes were posted by an anonymous user on Facebook. The post contained screenshots of messages between Shrump and an unknown correspondent under the name of “My Bestest Friend.”

“Hackers are ready,” said “My Bestest Friend.” Shrump responded with, “great thanks! LOL!!!!”

Currently, rumors have been spreading that “My Bestest Friend” is a member of Mission San Jose High School’s current student government. Some believe that the US government was responsible. Both are equally as likely, even if neither have been confirmed.

The messages further revealed that “My Bestest Friend” and Shrump were planning on hacking into the school loop account of another IHS student body presidential candidate Chillary Plinton.  And “leaking” the contents of her loopmail and transcript. Apparently, the loopmail of Plinton contained “damning evidence” that would kick her out of the running. So far, no further investigations of this have been conducted.

Before the release of this fairly infallible evidence, Shrump was well known for his unorthodox campaign. The weeks leading up to the election, he could often be seen around the IHS campus wearing his campaign T-shirt with the slogan, “our school is RIGGED!” and shouting the same words to anyone who would listen. Shrump declined to comment for the Irvington Voice, but a few minutes after our staff attempted to interview him, Shrump updated his facebook status:

“Our school magazine the irvington void is a disappointment all they do is spread fake news and accuse me of crazy things. Terrible. Sad.”

Mission San Jose High School student body government has also declined to comment. The US government has failed to respond with anything helpful.