Hoco proposals are often a source of stress for the students of Irvington High School, to the point that worrying about having a creative, clever, poster is more important than the 20 tests they have that week. After all, what could be more important than writing “Will you go to hoco with me” on a poster used once? What could be more important than being rejected to  a school dance that you’ll be denied access to when you come in at 8:01? To help reduce the stress of students and the negative impacts caused by the stress of having a good hoco proposal (next year, I guess), here are my suggestions. 

1. Use a Pencil For Your Poster

Figuring out what stationery to use on your poster is important. For example, some might decorate with different colored markers, sharpies, etc. However, I have a different proposal. What if you use a pencil to write your hoco proposal? Everyone knows that the grey graphite from a pencil shows up the best on a poster- writing in pencil allows you to be certain that your message will get across from a mile away, and everyone will be blinded by the sheer amount of effort you went through, impressed by your creativity and genius. What’s better than being presented with a poster that says “will you go to hoco with me” written in pencil? According to a 2021 poll from homecomingusa.com, pencil was shown to be the most popular choice for students.! 

2. Make Sure Your Handwriting is Illegible!

Are you afraid of being rejected? Don’t worry! If your hoco date physically cannot interpret your proposal, what are they saying no to? With your brains and impressive talents such as failing to spell “HOCO”, you’ll be able to snag that homecoming date as long as you can convince them to say yes to something they can’t read; though they might not be as happy when they finally realize what exactly they said yes to. 

3. The more people hate you for your puns, the better

A cringey pun is the focus and most important thing for a hoco proposal. Without it, you’ll fail to be noticed by your prospective hoco date. Having the most creative (and painful to read) puns, like “Let’s taco ’bout hoco,” are the keys to increasing your chances of being accepted to hoco. If your puns are horrible enough, maybe your date will accept your proposal for the sake of being able to burn that atrocity of a poster themself. 

4. Reuse, Reduce, and Reconsider Why You’re Doing This 

Are you having trouble figuring out whether or not it’s worth it to buy a poster for making your homecoming proposal, even though it’s only going to be used once and never touched ever again? I have the perfect solution for you! Reuse the one you made last year (assuming you’re not a freshman, in which case you just borrow a poster from an alumni or older sibling). Sure, maybe you did use it for your ex, but at least you’re not contributing to waste! And if it worked last year to get you a hoco date, it’ll probably work again! 

5. Find the perfect location: the middle of the hallway during passing period

It might be hard to decide on the perfect location to set up your hoco proposal, but here’s a suggestion: the middle of the hallway during passing period (the more people you inconvenience, the better). After all, what’s more important than witnessing your incredible hoco proposal poster? A test that they’ve been studying for for the past 10 years that’s worth 50% of their grade? Blasphemy! The most important high school experience is witnessing a hoco proposal that makes you want to bleach your eyes, and they should be grateful to have the honor of experiencing yours. Not only that, the hallways in Irvington are the most romantic place anyone could think of—floods, a flaming trash can in the bathroom, and the smell of death: what could possibly be better? And if all else fails, they’ll probably say yes just so you’ll leave them alone and they can get to their next class.