Golf Team Resorts to Violence to Solve Their Problems


On March 32nd, the Irvington boys’ golf team tied the game against Mission San Jose. It was a tense standoff between the two teams, and tensions led to a series of rather unusual and violent events. 

Irvington got off to a strong start early in the game. The coach had prepared the team with various new strategies to face off an opponent like Mission San Jose, which is a particularly tricky team to play against on their own campus. Despite the strong start, factors like heavy winds and hot temperatures soon became unfavorable and slowly gave the lead to the opponent for four or five rounds. However, Irvington pushed back and squeezed the opponent’s lead into a mere 23 points. At one point, Irvington secured their own lead of 10 points, but their luck changed quickly.

As the last three holes of the game approached closer and closer, Irvington slowly lost their lead as Mission San Jose pushed back. At the last hole, the MSJ team captain’s eagle, a score of two under par, finally leveled their score to Irvington’s, and the game ended in a tie.

The Irvington team was quite distraught due to the tie. IHS team captain Tiesare Notgood revealed his thoughts as the game ended: “A lot of games end up getting tied. What’s the point of waiting around in that situation? We thought, might as well go ahead and break the tie one way or the other.” Irvington had, in fact, tied many games in the season so they decided to take action and secure a victory whichever way possible.

“Our team and coach had previously come up with a new strategy to beat the tie, which no other school could’ve predicted,” said Gottabreak Tie, another IHS player on the team.

What happened as the game ended was truly a surprise for all. The Irvington team yelled a chant as they charged the other team. With nothing but flailing fists and a desire for victory, the Irvington team fought against the other team in a hand-to-hand combat showdown. The other team, caught by surprise, had no defense up their sleeves and was simply dominated by Irvington throughout the fight. The fight ended in a win for IHS; although sports judges and coaches are still deliberating over whether this fight constitutes a true victory.