IHS BASEBALL SEASON CANCELED

IHS BASEBALL SEASON CANCELED

In an unfortunate turn of events, Irvington Baseball, Irvington’s most beloved and important sport, has had its season cancelled. The reason for such saddening circumstances is due to the astonishing weather.

“We were practising normally, and then all of a sudden things started to fall from the sky” says Oggy Watters (13), the shortstop on the team. “They were all so small and fast, kinda like me, but there were so many of them and when they hit you they made you wet. Almost like a shower, except it lasted way longer than five minutes.”

These mysterious “droplets”  were falling everywhere, terrorising students as they walked to class, but the baseball team seems to have been especially hard. These droplets have really made the baseball team feel out of their element, flailing around like fish out of water as they were clinically sweeped by Mission’s baseball team 12-0.

One unfortunate player affected, Mud Banks (5), says “The weird particles made the ground all wet so now when I slide on the field my beautiful white pants are all dirty now and my mom is sad too, because we don’t have enough water to wash it everyday.”

These unbearably harsh conditions were too much to take for the players, and so Coach Marty McDry had no choice but to make the tough decision to stop the season early. “Man it’s such a shame,” McDry said, “the enthusiasm of the players this year was at an all time high, we were very close to losing every game, until this freakish weather popped out of nowhere.”

Baseball’s fantastic season had  seen them go 1-12, Irvington’s most successful season till date, and the team was even confident of winning a second game this season, before it was cancelled of course.

“Irvington? They have a baseball team?” said Nobul Shorter, MVAL president.  “I mean I guess it doesn’t even matter, they’ve never made play-offs anyway so they are irrelevant anyway.”

This statement angered one of Irvington’s Baseball’s biggest fans, Karen Davis. According to her, “Baseball was my livelihood, now me and the other hundreds of fans that religiously watch baseball have nothing to do. I guess all I’m going to do is watch the old games as I cry myself to sleep. I don’t care that the sky is falling, I need Irvington Baseball, I can’t live without it.”

The baseball players also struggle to find to do with the time they would normally spend practising. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll pick up a new hobby like collecting umbrellas or something,” says Umbra Ella (16), the team’s star pitcher.

The cancellation has come as a big disappointment to many, the freakish weather making it nearly impossible to play, and Irvington’s historic baseball season with their record wins (1), has unfortunately come to an end. While it will be interesting to see how the team copes with this, for now we can add another loss to Irvington’s record. Mother Nature 1, Irvington 0.