Imagine this. You wake up in your 5000 square foot house on a sunny morning to the sound of the birds chirping. After taking a shower and taking two bites out of a 10-course breakfast that your mom made for you, you rush out the door with toast in your hand because you obviously don’t have time to eat. Climbing into a used Mercedes (because your parents won’t buy you a new one), you take an idyllic drive to school. Even then, you have to comically run to first period as your Starbucks order was late. Finally in school, you settle into the well-lit room and get excited about learning. 

BORING

Who wants that? What high school is supposed to give you a good experience? The idyllic high school is boring, it has no reality in it. That’s why we love Irvington High School, home of the Vikings and of the vicious vandalism!

Every single aspect of Irvington High School is meticulously planned in order to create lasting impressions. Walking into school is an experience in itself. There is nothing more beautiful than driving into burnout marks and donuts in the parking lots. Who needs to see Formula 1 when you have Fremont’s very own team right here at home! The lights are beautiful in their own way. Some prefer lights that actually work and illuminate their surroundings. But who wants a bright and cheery environment! Irvington High School has carefully invested tens of hundreds of dollars in creating a next-generation illumination system. The skillfulness is unprecedented. Bright and cheery lights can fail, and repairs can be costly. So the solution is simple. The forefathers of Irvington chose to invest in lights that barely work and give off the same glow that a strip mall in a desert does. You can’t have any failures when there is no infrastructure left to fail! Such lights create the perfect vibe by accentuating the lonely halls with their dull highlights. It really does reflect the mood of a high school in an overpriced city.

There is something beautiful about misery. Roofs that hold weight are boring. Leaky roofs provide so much excitement to life. The thing is, normal roofs don’t have you worried about where and how you should take your next step. But, structurally unstable roofs are so fun! One wrong step and you can cash out that life insurance policy! It really does spice up Monday mornings when you don’t know if your next step will be your last.

Irvington is beautiful because it is miserable. It is wonderful to be in a school that feels so raw, so real. And that’s why, we’re proud to be Vikings!

Beautiful lights illuminate the structurally unstable surroundings of Irvington High School, Home of the Vikings!