On March 9th, 2026 at 2:01 pm, a deadly “zombie-like” virus associated with aggressive human behavior and rapid contagion rate was discovered by AP Bio students who were assigned to experiment with several types of mold. After several examinations conducted by licensed virologists, it was found that the virus had been likely created by a deadly and contagious type of mold called the Catarcyst, which had been accidentally mixed in with the lab-safe molds.
These students were quickly caught in the act but unfortunately were already infected. They are now being quarantined in an underground chamber below the school.
To ensure no other mold containers were infected with the virus, AP Bio teachers Mr. Suretalksalot and Mrs. Eldermillenial alongside professional handlers and admin worked together to check through all lab supplies used. Although no signs of the mold were found, the school staff made efforts to reach out to AP Bio students who had participated in the lab to ensure no further infection occurred. One student, Bella Pandemic (11) described “I did notice that one container of mold had a very aggressive reaction as it began bubbling feistily. I threw it in the sink because I didn’t want to risk messing up the experiment. ” Another student in one of the later periods claimed “there was this one container that stank up the entire classroom and the horrid stench even got on my clothes!”
All the AP Bio students are currently undergoing quarantine as well in the underground chamber. The school admin has issued notices of prolonged after school detention to the parents and family of these students.
The fatality rate and exact origins of this virus are unclear but it is safe to say that the virus has not spread too rapidly. As long as we handle the current infectees efficiently and appropriately, the virus should not worsen. With the threat of an epidemic, it is extremely crucial for all Irvington teachers and admin to follow these guidelines carefully:
- If anyone is displaying these symptoms: bloodshot eyes, high fever, extreme agitation, vomiting, insomnia, and irrational fear, please notify the admin immediately.
- Properly cleanse and disinfect all lab materials that might have come in contact with dangerous substances.
- Remain silent about this situation until further updates are announced.
To prevent chaos from breaking out or the virus from spreading further, an announcement will not yet be issued to students as of now. Irvington admin and staff are trying their best to mitigate this issue and hopefully make a fast recovery.
Stay safe everybody.
**It is now March 15th and this message still hasn’t been sent out**
